MOVIE REVIEW
“World’s End”
by Doug Young
Metaphorical movie myopia
Before entering a showing of the film
Elysium, movie patrons are asked to secure
Elysium Cinematic Health Care Insurance
Policy. The terms and conditions of such
policy are provided below. Anyone entering
Elysium without securing such film insur-
ance is still universally eligible to watch the
film; however, such patron thereby waives
any claims related to such viewing and any
warnings and disclosures provided by this
film insurance policy.
Elysium Cinematic Health Care Insurance
Policy
Elysium offers a film about universal
health insurance coverage in the guise of a
science fiction narrative for all full-time
patrons (those watching 1.49 hours per
screening). Elysium may offer additional
subject matter at a mental cost to patrons.
Patrons may elect to pay additional cost
for film coverage for their spouse and/or
dependents. Patrons watching multiple
times per week are eligible to purchase
snack bar items at full cost.
[linebreak style=”simple”]
DEFINITIONS
The “Earth” is a trashed planet depicted
in the year 2154 where humans struggle to
survive in crowded conditions, are ruled by
insensitive robot overlords, are subjected to
roving thugs and underworld drug lords,
and work in menial jobs servicing a distant
orbiting space station where the rich live in
luxury and which is depicted as a veritable
paradise.[linebreak style=”simple”]
The term “Elysium” is a provider of
cinematic entertainment consisting of actors
Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, William Fitchner,
Sharlto Copley, Diego Luna and other acting
participants, and directed by Neill
Blomkamp; it is also the name of the
opulent orbiting space station.[linebreak style=”simple”]
A “magical cure-all health care tech-
nology” is a brain-scanner-like contraption
included in every home on Elysium whereby
a person simply lies down and it diagnoses
and cures whatever ails that person in
seconds — even a pesky pimple. This also
represents the fantasy, ideal medical and
health care that we all seem to wish we had
available to us today by simply flipping a
switch — no doctors, no human touch, no
imperfections, no plastic surgery, no fuss,
no muss.[linebreak style=”simple”]
The term “mental data storage” is a
sci-fi plot element in Elysium whereby chips
are implanted in human brains that can
store computer data for retrieval; however,
that retrieval can sometime kill the human
whose brain contains the info, or not,
depending on the narrative conditions that
would further the plot, such as when a char-
acter has the codes implanted in his brain
that instructs the Elysium Space Station and
its robot minions to reboot and thus allow
an alternative health care exchange to be
constructed to provide care to the masses.
An “Elysium overlord” is a character
that is assigned to defend the Elysium
health care system and the Elysium opulent
lifestyle even though such defense may not
be necessary.[linebreak style=”simple”]
INELIGIBLE CINEMATIC DEPENDENTS
The following conceptual dependents to
the universal health care Elysium theme are
not eligible for full cinematic coverage in
Elysium (they are not fully developed
enough to be covered with any depth):
• illegal immigration, typified by Earth-
bound humans seeking, via rogue space-
ships, entrance to Elysium and all the free
wonders (i.e. magical cure-all health care
technology) it provides; and
• racial inequality, typified by the racial
makeup of Earthbound humans versus
those living on Elysium; and
• 1 percenter indifference, typified by the
residents of Elysium who, lulled by over-the-
top pampering and country house mansion
living, don’t give a whit about their Earth-
bound brethren.[linebreak style=”simple”]
UNIVERSAL COVERAGE
For those choosing to witness Elysium,
the following constitutes the characteriza-
tion of universal health care coverage under
this insurance policy:
• it is somehow (amazingly!) affordable
to all humans on Earth as well as those
residing on the Elysium Space Station, even
if everyone does not seem to know this or
behave as if they know this; and
• it is ultimately available to any and all
humans no matter where they reside; and
• once it becomes available, there are no
mechanisms to withdraw access to
coverage and the magical cure-all tech-
nology it provides; and
• once it becomes available, it magically
will not need massive amounts of energy or
resources to provide its magical cure-all
health care technology to everyone no
matter what their illness or ability to pay;
and
• the magical cure-all health care tech-
nology will magically appear to those that it
somehow senses are in need of such care
or who, in an instant, become eligible for
such care; and
• it can magically cure any and all
ailments in seconds, except for some
unknown reason full-body radiation from an
accidental exposure at a robot assembly
factory; and
• those who have access to such
magical cure-all health care technology (the
1 percenters) will try and keep it for them-
selves, even though it could be universally
provided to all (the 99 percenters) at no cost
or resource expenditure; and
• if the 1 percenters would just provide
this magical cure-all health care technology
to everyone, there would be no need for
Elysium and all the fights, battles, vicious
killings and dismemberments, rotating and
opulent space stations, innovative robot
exoskeleton attire bolted onto a would-be
hero (à la the internal mental skeleton the
Wolverine from the X-Men movies).[linebreak style=”simple”]
CONTINUATION COVERAGE
This Elysium Cinematic Health Care
Insurance Policy shall continue even after
you have left or otherwise separated from
the location displaying Elysium.
However, your continuation coverage
may be cut short for any of the following
reasons:[linebreak style=”simple”]
• you see right through obvious
metaphorical sci-fi cinematic techniques; or
• you understand even the subtlest of
nuances related to the difficulties of the
dispensation of health care and the trade-
offs involved therein; or
• you forget Elysium within minutes after
you have seen it, or any portion of it; or
• you wish you never considered viewing
Elysium; or
• you wish you actually were in a state of
Elysium instead of just watching Elysium.[linebreak style=”simple”]
ELIGIBILITY DATE
You are covered by this policy the
moment you secure a nonrefundable movie
ticket for a showing of Elysium no matter
where, when or how that ticket was
purchased. Please be sure to keep a
receipt. Walkouts during viewing do not
result in cancellation of this policy, but actu-
ally reaffirm it. View it in good health![linebreak style=”simple”]
