MOVIE REVIEW – Escape from Tomorrow

Posted on 08 November 2013

MOVIE REVIEW

Escape from Tomorrow”

by Doug Young

escapefromtomorrowtop

Whistle WhileYou Watch

“Escape from Tomorrow”

Starring Roy Abramsohn, Elena Schuber, Katelynn
Rodriguez; directed by Randy Moore

This week’s column is written to the Disney songs “A
Spoonful of Sugar” from Mary Poppins and “It’s a Small
World” from the Disneyland ride, both written by Richard M.
Sherman and Robert B. Sherman, with apologies to them
and Disney.

 

A SPOONFUL OF HOKUM

In every film that must be spun
There is an element of stun
You find the stun and snap!
The film’s real lame

And every film you might partake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree!
It’s very clear to me

That a…
Spoonful of hokum helps the silly plot go down
The silly plot go down-wown
The silly plot go down

Just a spoonful of hokum helps the silly plot go down
In a most regretful way
A father at Disney’s park fest
Becomes an endurance test

While losing all his
Wits and mind and kids
Though quite intent in his pursuit
Of young girls derrieres to boot

He knows the slog
Will drag this mess along
For a…
Spoonful of nasty helps this crazy thing go down

This crazy thing go down-wown
This crazy thing go down
Just a spoonful of nasty helps this crazy thing go down
In a most unpleasant way

[Interlude]

The story sees him retch and bicker
With his lovelies as they roam
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro
Because they throw a little fit

For every dull ride that they skip
And hence (And hence),
We find (We find)
This film is a real grind

Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h ah!

A spoonful of nutty helps the goofiness go down
The goofiness go down-wown
The goofiness go down
Just a spoonful of nutty helps the goofiness go down
In a most displeasing way

Escape

IT’S A SMALL FILM

It’s a film of weirdness, a film of jeers
It’s a film of dopes and a film of sneers
There’s very little that’s there so we do not care
It’s a small film after all

It’s a small film after all
It’s a thin film after all
It’s a trite film after all
It’s a slight, slight film

It’s a film at Disney, them unawares
It’s a place of demons, a place of fears
There’s so much blandness that it’s barely even there
It’s a small film after all

It’s a small film after all
Not a Lynch film after all
It’s a weak film after all
It’s a small, small film

It’s a flat film after all
It’s a dull film after all
It’s a null film after all
It’s a null film after all

Unfortunately we can’t describe Doug Young adequately in strictly iambic
pentameter, so we’ll just tell you that he is an award-winning (and poetic) film critic and that he is “Filmoholic” Critic Man, aka Doug Young, who is a senior environmental policy advisor to Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper, his reviews canbe found regularly on Pop Geek Heaven.

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